Monogamy

Monogamy All the present controversies about the family are really discussions about monogamy About what keeps people together and why they should stay together In this book of one hundred and twenty one aphor

  • Title: Monogamy
  • Author: Adam Phillips
  • ISBN: 9780679776178
  • Page: 411
  • Format: Paperback
  • All the present controversies about the family are really discussions about monogamy About what keeps people together and why they should stay together In this book of one hundred and twenty one aphorisms, Adam Phillips asks why we all believe in monogamy, and why we find it so difficult to think about it Everyone knows that most people, however much they may love theirAll the present controversies about the family are really discussions about monogamy About what keeps people together and why they should stay together In this book of one hundred and twenty one aphorisms, Adam Phillips asks why we all believe in monogamy, and why we find it so difficult to think about it Everyone knows that most people, however much they may love their partner, are capable of loving and desiring than one person at a time It may be reassuring, but it is in fact very demanding and often cruel to assume that only one other person can give us what we want At least in sexual matters, sharing seems to go deeply against the grain Monogamy is so much taken for granted as the foundation of the family and of family values that, as with anything that seems essential, we are very wary of being critical of it But as Phillips suggests, it is surely worth wondering why the faithful couple has such a hold on our imagination, and how it has come to be such an ideal.

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      Published :2019-06-23T02:02:18+00:00

    1 thought on “Monogamy”

    1. Provocative aphorisms like "Profoundly committed to the better life, the promiscuous, like the monogamous, are idealists. Both are deranged by hope, in awe of reassurance, impressed by their pleasures." It makes for interesting and relevant parallel reading, as I wade through Kierkegaard's Either/Or, with his meditations on Don Juan, the Seducer's Diary

    2. msarki.tumblr/post/153562Having read this book two times I still find it daunting to write a review about it. During both occasions I was excited and totally engaged in my reading. Twice, I recorded segments of aphorisms I found to be exacting and poignant to my study. But I failed miserably in the arrangement of my thoughts regarding this fascinating book on monogamy. And not because there are disagreeable positions being furthered by the author Adam Phillips. His enlightened statements simply [...]

    3. Kısa ama çarpıcı aforizmalar. Psikanalitik bakış atıyorsunuz ilişkilere; ama daha fazlası ancak sizinle ilgili bir durum. Kendinizi kandırmadan yaşadıklarınıza bakabilmenizle anlamlanacak/ anlaşılacak, küçük ama düşündürücü bir aforizmalar kitabı.

    4. This book made me think. No one has ever been excluded from feeling left out. And everyone is obsessed by what they are excluded from.The only tradition we can experience is the present moment. And yet we spend most of our lives anxiously hoping we will change - looking forward to things - and doing everything we can to stop this happening. This is why we are only really relaxed, properly at ease, in periods of transition, when we can let time join in. Monogamy is just one of the wonders of natu [...]

    5. I like this itty bitty book. I don't know how quick I would be to recommend it to others, though, because the list of aphorisms format can be a bit tiresome. Each of the 121 aphorisms about monogamy and related concepts made me think, some more than others. Essentially, Phillips disrupts the commonly shared assumption that monogamy is essential or even, necessarily, realistic or good. He does so with wit, style, and a bit of cynicism. Here are a few of my favorite insights: 111: "Familiarity may [...]

    6. Konu uzerine daha önce okuduğum Çokaşlılık, konuyu daha ziyade tarihi açıdan ele almıştı ve okuyucuya bilgi vermek niyetiyle yazılmış gibiydi. Bu kitap da sorular sordurmak icin yazilmis daha cok bence. Bu nedenle, tekeslilik-cokaşklılık üzerine( kitap isimleri uzerinden karşıtlık kurdum sadece) düşünmek için daha ufuk açıcı buldum ben bu kitabı. Daha önce sormadığım soruları sormamı sağladı diğerinden farklı olarak. İste size bir yorumda iki kitap!

    7. Thank God this book is a quick read. It was interesting and completely boring at the same time. The author brings up some interesting points about fidelity, infidelity an relationships, but he never expounds on anything. This book is nothing more than a collection of single thoughts that may hit you in passing, but no full discussions. Because of this, I think the book falls short of being anything more than a book of quotations on monogamy.

    8. sadakat ve ihanet üzerine aforizmalardan ibaret kitap tamamen. çabuk bitiyor belki ama yazılanları derin derin düşünmeye başlayınca ilerleyemiyorsunuz. çeviri başarılı, ilişkiler üzerine felsefe yapmak isteyenler için tavsiye edebilirim. sevdim!

    9. > Bir yalani yutarsaniz, pesinden gelen her seyi de yutmak zorunda kalirsiniz. - Emerson* Basarili yalan, sinir bozucu bir ozgurluk yaratir.* Guzel gorunus, depresyona karsi en iyi kulturel ilacimizdir. Gosterinin devam etmesini saglar.* Karsilastigimiz herkes, biz begenelim begenmeyelim, bizi icat eder. Tekeslilik kendimizin versiyonlarinin sayisini minimumda tutmanin yollarindan biridir ve bazilarinin **gercekten** ozel olduguna inandirmanin yolu.* Sadakatsizlik, degisime verdigimiz bir bas [...]

    10. The strength of this book is its explorations of the humanity surrounding the concept of monogamy. The aphoristic nature of the exploration feels like one of the best ways to deal with a paradoxical subject.Phillips is a psychologist and it feels like each aphorism was written after a particularly jarring couple's session, so the book feels like a concerted psychoanalysis. My biggest complaint was also paradoxically one of the book's strengths -- Phillips seemingly Freudian insistence that monog [...]

    11. piyasada (tabi erotic romance katagorisinde, sosyoloji ya da psikolojide değil (ki bu katagoride var mı yok mu bilmiyorum)) polygamy o kadar çok var ki (genelde üç, bazen üstü, anlamış değilim) ister istemez aklıma bu film geldi ('de ben 6 vermişim, demek ki iyi demek)(love in plural temalı pek çok film var, kimisi salt seks, kimisi toplum eleştirici, kimisi de alt-konusu farketmeksizin size tokat atan filmler, ama ne bileyim bu film geldi aklıma)bu bahsettiğimle alakalı olduğ [...]

    12. This was pretty rad, if you're into reading 121 aphorisms about monogamy by modern psychoanalytic genius Adam Phillips, who also wrote the fantastically titled "On Kissing, Tickling, and Being Bored." My favorite was number 3: "Profoundly committed to the better life, the promiscuous, like the monogamous, are idealists. Both are deranged by hope, in awe of reassurance, impressed by their pleasures. We should not be too quick to set them against each other. At their best, they are both the enemie [...]

    13. "Devamlılık bize güven verir ama cinsellikten de uzaklaştırır, belki çekiciliğinin bir kısmı da buradan gelmektedir. Yabancılık heyecan vericidir ama bizi düzenimizi bozmakla tehdit eder; rutin rahatlık vericidir ama bizi uyutmakla tehdit eder. Bizi seçim yapma kapasitemiz olduğuna en çok ikna eden, özgür olduğumuz yanılsamasını en çok canlı tutan şey, davranışlarımızı düzene sokma yeteneğimizdir. Ama yaptıklarımıza olan ilgimizi ve bunlardan aldığımız zev [...]

    14. Extremely interesting points. The initial question is simply: why assume monogamy is the default? Isn't that how we create 'cheating'. If monogamy was truly natural, the amount of infidelity that takes place among humans would not be so great (truly monogamous species simply 'are' that way, they don't create a set of rules to remain so). Tiny book but full of content.

    15. The title might mislead people to believe this is a book solely about sexual discretion. Instead, Phillips breaks the human condition into solvent pieces. Each page delivers a truth you didn't know you knew, but always, faithfully lived by; all the more disconcerting because faithfulness (to oneself, to the other, to others) is in question. "Monogamy, I discover, is a religion of one." -- #93

    16. Güzel, heyecan verici aforizmalar ve tespitlerle başladı ama sonra o heyecan kayboluverdi ve sıkıcı bir kitaba dönüştü. (Tek eşli bir evlilik gibi sanırım) ;)

    17. An interesting book on monogamy, polygamy and infidelity mingled with psychodynamic views here and there. For the most part, a collection of brief thoughts on the topic, which sometimes tended to repeat themselves without further elaboration. An effortless, quick read, which might spark some self-reflection for the reader. Personally, I found some statements interesting, however I was left with a sense that I got more of a glimpse into the author's notebook rather than a developed text or line o [...]

    18. If you want a read a book that evoke more questions about our choices on sexual relations in modern life, read this. It's not informative, its not taking sides. Its not gonna tell which one is more practical, moral ,ethical or health way to live (monogamy or multiple-partnership arrangements). Consists of short aphorisms which some of them stickt to your mind and come up when you encounter relevant situations in real life. Thought proviking piece!

    19. "SON ZAMANLARDA aile değerleri üzerine -evlenme ve boşanma oranları üzerine- sürdürülen tartışmalar, aslında tekeşlilik üzerine tartışmalardır. İnsanları bir arada tutan şeyin ne olduğu konusunda ve neden bir arada kalmaları gerektiği konusunda tartışmalardır bunlar. İnsanların önemli zevklerin hangileri olduğuna nasıl karar verecekleri konusunda tartışmalardır. Eğer zevk için değilse niçin bir aradadırlar ki çiftler? Ve eğer zevk önemli değilse, önemli [...]

    20. This one wasn't what I was expecting. Now what that honestly was, I'm not really sure. Some insight on monogamy, why it's natural or not. I mean the jacket depiction lured me in with the statement of "Everyone knows people are capable of loving & desiring more than one person at a time. It may be reassuring, but it is in fact very demanding (and often cruel) to assume only one person can give us what we want." Ok Phillips. you've got my attention. Which is the shortest thing about me.What th [...]

    21. The writing of Adam Phillips seems to take a sideways glance at the conventions and patterns of human behaviour, inviting us to pick apart our habitual and traditional ideals. In this slim book of aphorisms and epigrams, Phillips considers the idea of monogamy, dismantling it and analysing it as a lifestyle choice - what it is, why we choose it, how we cope with it, how it hurts us, how it heals us. Occasionally revelatory and at other times just rather confusing, the ideas in this book either g [...]

    22. One hundred and twenty-one short reflections about monogamy. Many of them are fascinating, and many problematic. I recommend this book--it would start many a conversation among those who want to think through why faithfulness, monogamy, marriage, children, infidelity, and promiscuity are such important--and slippery--terms of reference in our culture.

    23. Phillips's thought provoking meditations on our presumptions of monogamy left me strangely relaxed. With simplicity of words, he challenges taboos with clarity. Somehow, he helped to validate desires I have had for years.

    24. I will keep this review short and sweet. Much like the book.This book reflects upon more than just 'monogamy'.Thought provoking, this is a book one "picks up", meditates apon, and then revisits through time.Enjoyable book. Nothing earth shattering but I enjoyed its company.

    25. I accidentally finished this book tonight because I was so engrossed I lost sight of my progress. It was a fascinating, if not altogether optimistic, read. Some of the arguments are pretty wacky but others are phrased so sharply they slice like a knife. Eminently quotable.

    26. An interesting thought provoker or conversation starter. I found that the style of writing grated without the depth of longer discussion and it felt pretentious to me.

    27. My first Adam Phillips book and definitely not my last! What a read! Made me chuckle, ponder, shake my head.

    28. "Nereye gidersek gidelim, yola buradan çıkacağız. Hayatımız, dışarıda bırakılma duygusuyla nasıl baş edersek öyle olacak."

    29. An intensely thought-provoking resource for the poet and/or novelist. To be kept to hand and referred to regularly.

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